Top 5: Strange, Silly Swag

Colossal Clam: Yes, a big brilliant bivalve mollusk is given to the winner of the Qatar Masters. Is Qatar the giant clam capitol of the world? I have no idea. But Adam Scott sure does look happy as a... well, yeah. And when you throw in that shimmery prodigious pearl in the center, it's kinda like getting that prize in your Crackerjack box – which is nice. Also, legend has it that the blueprints for this trophy were originally drawn up by Bing Crosby for his Pebble Beach gathering. However, they were lost after one of the event's famous raucous cocktail parties, only to be reappear many, many years later in a bottle floating in the Persian Golf, washed ashore on Doha's sandy beaches. Yep.

Giant Sword: Before the Bay Hill Invitational was renamed the Arnold Palmer Invitational, Arnie's event had always given the winner a giant sword. Well, duh. How else is a King supposed to dub a knight? Here, his majesty is presenting it to Tiger Woods and one can only assume this trophy/weapon served a dual purpose to the recipients: something eye-catching for above the fireplace (because Tiger's certainly lacking in the mantel hardware department), and an intimidation tool for any intruders into the winner's home. Also, little-known fact: this is the only tournament Chi Chi Rodriguez, to this day, regrets not winning.

Conquistador Helmet: Given to the winner of the now defunct Northern Telecom Open, this medieval-Spanish helmet is certainly one of the more awkward and obscure trophies ever seen. Even more silly is when the then Arizona State student and amateur winner Phil Mickelson took the gold-plated headwear and placed it on his own frat boy head. To this day, even Phil admits it's one of the silliest moves he has ever made. And that's saying something.

Box-O-Cash: This beaut is simple and classy – albeit a bit grandiose. But hell, it is certainly upfront with no shades of gray – just green. Win this event and bam!: an unmistakable box of straight cash money, one million dollars worth, is ceremoniously laid at your feet. And Ed McMahon doesn't even have to be there. I love it. Talk about the greatest example of dangling a carrot.

Barrel of Wine: This gem of a trophy comes via the Nationwide Tour's Livermore Valley Wine Country Championship. And yes, the name of the event pretty much says it all: a mini-keg sized wooden barrel of vino. I don't drink wine myself, but this is pure class. Great idea for an event that is held out in Napa Valley territory. Granted, Aron Price, the 2008 winner, shows little class as he performs his version of a wine keg stand. Oh, who am I kidding? I love any and all types of keg stands.