Tiger Giveth and Taketh Away

My greatest U.S. Open moment has been taken from me!
 
Damn you, Tiger Woods; it’s all your fault. Tuesday, you, me and Bubba (Watson) are joking around on the putting green and everything is fine and dandy. By Saturday night after following you around the course, my best moment at a U.S. Open has now been replaced - and I'm not in this one! At least the second one you were in, but at I was too. Now that's even that’s third.
 
Let me explain. My “previous” favorite U.S. Open moment was caddying in Pinehurst, first time it’s held there since Payne Stewart won. I’m caddying for Omar Uresti and in spite of him putting a spike through one of my Nike’s before the second 18 we made it through the qualifying and got in.
 
We had practice rounds with Justin Leonard one day, who’s a lot funnier than they show on TV, and David Duval (with his dad Bob telling funny stories from his days on tour walking with us) talking fishing and telling jokes about Ben Wallace’s afro.
 
This was setting up to be a special week for me. Then, of course, Thursday comes and so does the carnage. Let me tell you before they started that “graduated” rough, the U.S. Open really sucked (Corey Pavin exception) for short straight hitters, of which Omar is. That was because short straight hitters normally only miss the fairways by a yard or two and in Opens’ past that was the worse place to miss. So by the time we’re coming down the last three holes we are gonna HAVE to par in.
 
I just got off the phone with Omar (he’s here in Hartford this week, and we’re setting up movie times for the week but that's a whole ‘nother addiction) to make sure I tell it right. The 16th is a devastatingly long par 4, about 490 yards playing a little downhill, but even after a good drive we still had a 4-iron into a green about as soft as Nancy Grace interviewing one of the Texas cult mothers.
 
With a middle left hole, I tell O, “front of the green, let it release.” He hits it perfect. -- 25 feet for birdie. But we don’t need birdies, just birdie putts. He two-putts for par, ONE DOWN! next up, the par-3 17th, uphill about 200 yards, front right hole, Anywhere but front right bunker is the place to be. Well y'all already know where this ball is going as I’m screaming, “GET UP! GET UP, PLEASE, BABY!!!”
 
Sometimes players, after hitting a shot like that, will put their chin on their chest and as a caddie you know bogey is coming because in the player's mind they’ve already made bogey. But this time O is walking with his head up at a much faster pace than I was used to. We get to the bunker, good lie but short sided with the green sloping away. He hits as good a shot as could be asked from there, 15 feet for par. He brings me in on the read and I give him the line. He strokes it exactly over the spot I said and on the final rotation... BINGO! TWO DOWN, ONE TO GO!!
 
The 18th is a relatively easy tee shot for a U.S. Open -- wide(r) fairway, but the second shot is to a right pin tucked between ridges. No problem, front of the green, uphill putt for bird from 20 feet. I can take a deep breath, when, OOOOOOOOPS. O hits it 4-and-a-half feet by! Now we’ve got a downhill slider, left-to-right to make the cut on the number (as we were some of the final threesomes on the course). I gotta find some Kaopectate....
 
I get called to look at the putt. I’ll skip the drama and tell you he made the putt because my favorite moment came the next day. The way the cut worked out, we were the last ones in on the number and because of that we were playing first off ALONE on Saturday.