The Best Worst Week in Golf

Aaaaahhhh the power of flatulence. Some people just will never realize how in an extremely tension filled moment, someone releasing air from an orifice can make said tension vanish! That’s right, a caddy/comedian started his first Q-school finals with a fart joke (literally). And you know what… it worked. For the first three days in extremely tough conditions we shot three consecutive 69’s. But alas, at the end of the third day my player says to me, “It just doesn’t feel right.” WHAT?!?!?!?! Well then wrong feel it around for three more 69’s! We’re in 7th place and comfortable… we should mess this up.
 
And for the next two days we did. 75-71. And I sat back and watched in horror from a front row seat as cool and confident went right out the window. Doubt and self pity happily strolled thru the door, got comfy on the sofa and turned on the TV.
 
We step on the first tee for the final round and it’s already over. You see it in their eyes, they haven’t “quit”, but they have accepted the fate. The magic number is -7 to keep our card, all we need is even par. But look in those eyes! What do you do as a caddy? What do you do as a friend? DAMNIT! I promised this wouldn’t happen! 3-over after four holes, a bladed tee shot at the short par-4 fifth barely makes it over the water hazard and finds the fairway.
 
His chin on his chest, shoulders at the belly button, bottom lip on the ground, we get to the golf ball and I walk off the yardage. One hundred and fifteen yards to the pin, little PW. He hits it to 12 feet.
 
This is the moment. See, for a pro from 115 yards, 12 feet is just so-so. But for some reason I saw this was the Y in the road, keep your mouth shut and accept fate or say something and risk career and friendship. I can’t keep my mouth shut. I actually said nice shot and then dropped an f bomb and in so many words called him a choker. But when he saw the look on my face after I said it, he not only knew I was messing with him, he knew it was gonna be OK.
 
The funny thing is we missed the birdie putt, but it didn’t seem to matter. Throw in three birdies and no bogeys in the next ten holes and we stand on the 16th tee at -7 and ON the number. Long par five with a little bend to the left in it. Tee shot left first cut, can’t go for the green in two. MISS the fairway in the right THICK rough with the layup and barely get it on the front green from 85 yards. Now we’ve got 75 feet uphill for birdie and my boy almost shanks the putt. 8 ½ feet for par and he looks at me and says, “I don’t see it.” That means he doesn’t see any break in the putt. But I do. It’s almost four inches outside right edge.
 
Time for another moment.